Dead Garden

I have walked through this garden
most desolate and glutted
by ravenous weeds of gray
long dead and lain over on themselves.
I have tread carefully in earnest search
for a single sprout of growth,
a single sliver of hope.
I have scattered seeds,
taking care to water them,
and hoped with the rising sun
that I would find something beginning to grow.

I pray over the garden.
It is our marriage
and the foundation of our life together
as parents for our children.
It is as desert sands in summer
and frozen wastes in winter.
The only hope I find is within myself
and in the whispered cries of our children
chanting through the withered vines
that choke this plundered earth.

Be still and know that I am God

Psa 46:11 “Be still and know that I am God.”

The lawyers say to hurry and file for divorce. “Do it now and get it finalized before you deploy.” There are so many “damaging” things that could happen if I do not.

1. If the divorce is not final before I deploy, then it will freeze where it is until I get back and it will hang over my head for me to worry about the whole time I am overseas.

2. I know that Sarah wants to move to Vermont. The lawyers say I can get it written into the divorce agreement that she can not move outside of a certain radius of south Carolina until the kids are 18 so that I can be a part of their lives, but if I do not get the divorce finalized before I go, then she can move up there while I am overseas and there is nothing I can ever do about it.

3. They say that if the divorce is not final before I leave, or if we do not have a legal separation, then any debt she accumulates while I am away would be considered our debt and I would be just as responsible for it.

They throw these fears out there and say “hurry, you need to do it now. You need to do it now.” They must see the fears playing out through my eyes because each of them follows their barrage of terror with the words “divorce is a nasty thing.” It is like talking to psycho clowns in a crazy circus who are trying to make me crazy with them. They have crazy eyes and maniacal laughs and they think it is normal. Well, it IS normal. It’s 50% normal in the U.S. I have had many conversations with different attorneys, one of them a family court judge, and they all say the same thing. I know from the actions that Sarah has taken and the comments she has made, that she has received the exact same council from the lawyer she talked to. It is insanity. From a legal perspective, it is what is best for ME legally. But I am not about what is best for me legally. I am about following God’s will. I am about what is best for my family. I am about what God leads me to do, and this is not it. The enemy wants me to think there is a deadline. There is not. It is never too late for the Lord. He is God. I will not file for divorce. I will not take legal action against my wife. I will not wait in anguish without hope. I will wait in Faith with longsuffering. I will not throw my hands up and say I have had enough, I give up. I will wait patiently on the Lord. Even if he does not deliver me, I will follow Him. I will wait now like I have never been able to wait before, because He instills the faith and strength and ability in me every day to trust in Him. I can do it because He is carrying me through this and I know that no matter how this comes out, He will continue to walk with me. There is nothing to be afraid of. “Be still and know that I am God.”

Prayer

My Heavenly Father who loves me without condition. Protector of my soul. Guardian of my spirit. Please help me to remember 1 Cor 13, what love really is, what it means to love and how to do it by following the example you set for me. Help me to remember that you suffered for me and so I must suffer for you. Help me to remember to praise you in my trials for they bring me closer to you, you teach me through them, and by my suffering am I counted worthy to enter heaven. Help me to think on those things you commanded me to think on and to put away any thing that would come between us. Please help me to remember to put on the full armor of God every day, to know what it is and how to use it and to do so. Please open my heart and mind to receive your Word, to understand it, and to apply it always lest I stumble into death. Please help me to not focus on what bothers me now, but to focus on what your will is, to focus on your word, to focus on eternal life, and to remember that you are in control, that you love me beyond my understanding, that you wish the best for me, that you are guilty of no evil, and that you will take care of me either by removing me from the storm or walking through the storm with me. Please help me to remember the many blessings you have given me and always be thankful for them, past, present, and future. Thank you for your unmeasureable love. I want to feel your presence always. I do not ever want to be away from you. I pray for wisdom and thank you in advance for giving it to me. Lord, you know my heart like no one else. You know how much I yearn for you. You know how much I desire you. Please help me to resist this sinful body which I fight against every day. Please help me to not do the things I don’t want to do, and to consistently do the things I do want to, the things that bring me closer to and hold me near you, as near as I can be while on this earth. I long for the day that you return and you will break bread with me and eat. I long for the day that I will have my new body and sin will no longer be a part of my life. I long for the day that I will no longer be separated from you.
Please show me what I lack, that I may ask you for it and that you may teach it to me. Please help me to profit from and use the gifts you gave me to do your work for your glory. Please use me to lead others to you. Please help me to remember to and have the strength and proper motivation to praise you during trials that I go through. Please do not leave me out of trials to become a weak Christian, but send me into trials that I may be counted as one of yours, that you may teach me in them, that I may be drawn toward you and not fall into complacency and comfort. Please help me to seek you daily. I seek after your word as treasure. I thirst for your knowledge and wisdom and loving kindness so that I may live a peaceful, fruitful life that glorifies you. May I be a living sacrifice to you. Help me not to think more highly of myself than I should, but to think soberly. I want to know your will for my life, which is the greatest knowledge and I want to do your will, which is the greatest achievement. I seek earnestly to follow your will. I pray for faith. I fail, but you never fail. I can not make it without you. I can not teach my kids without you. I can not be a Godly husband without you. I can not function in day to day life without you, for the troubles of this world would surely weigh down my soul and bring me crashing to my knees and through the floor into desolation. Please help me to find new habits that turn toward you instead of away from you when I am aching inside with pain such as this that I have now.

Counting Blessings

The Berries are having a blast getting moved into the new house and spending time with each other and with visiting family. We have had visitors from North Augusta, North Carolina, Tennessee and even Vermont. We are very blessed to have such good friends and family who have helped us unpack and fix things around the house and visit and hang out and cook and go to the beach and stuff because stuff is important and everyone should do it. We have made various home improvements including installing a new kitchen faucet and Ward is on his way to becoming a regular handyman. Sarah is on her way to becoming a regular super-mom. Actually, she already is a regular super-mom. What comes after that? In any case, it is nice for us to be able to do all of this together in one home.

We’ve had lots of visitors. People from Ward’s work came over before we actually moved in and helped us paint. “Dindin” (Sarah’s brother Dylan) came from North Augusta with us when we moved in and helped us unpack and watched the kids for us – a lot. People from our new church have come over several times to help unpack and bring us dinner. “Papaw” and “Nana-B” (Ward’s Dad and Joanie) visited from Tennessee. Joanie taught the boys to say “Awesome!” They say it a lot. Allen came from North Augusta. Ward’s-Daddy-Bill and Allen helped us put up shelves and permanent baby gates. “Pampa” and “Cubby” (Sarah’s dad and brother Kevin) came down from Vermont for about a week. “Kuncle” and “Zee” (Sarah’s brother Bret and his girlfriend Lindsey) came too. Pampa and Cubby helped Ward drill holes in the office desk (that was lots of fun!) to route the power cables for the computer. They also helped with yard work, fixed bath tub holes, and light switches, and the garage door and grilled out cheese burgers, though this caused Ward a great deal of distress as he was still recovering from having had all four wisdom teeth pulled and was incapable of partaking in the great bounty of beef that was provided that evening. L “Monga and Papa” (Ward’s mom and Larry) came to visit for a day. “Nini”, Michael, and Jonathan (Sarah’s mom and Sarah’s two nephews) went to the beach with us. Wyatt and Ethan had lots of fun in the waves. It was their first beach trip and they were very excited about all the “Waka” – Water.

We haven’t been to the zoo yet so we do not have zoo pictures, and the camera malfunctioned at the beach due to salt water (apparently salt water and cameras don't mix – who knew), but we do have a few random pictures from around the house for your viewing enjoyment.

Acknowledgments: Baby talk courtesy of Wyatt and Ethan Berry of the Berry Patch. Translations courtesy of the Berry Blog. This message was brought to you in part by Peanut Butter – a delicious staple nourishment for little Berries everywhere. Eat some Peanut Butter today.

-sward

Woosh

Well, life has been busy, and after so much busyness we have not had a chance to get on here since May. That sounds more like Crazyness than Busyness. There is just a line somewhere that we crossed where busy was crazy, coffee was crack, T.V. was outcast, Ward was gone and Sarah was too (from her mind, at least). It seems we went to bed in May and woke in July where the time we missed was a blur and things seemed to settle around us in odd places as if falling out of the sky, loosed from a tornado. No, we are not in Kansas. Neither are we in North Augusta. We are in Charleston, in a new house, with a new baby, attending a new church, starting new classes at school, and in the middle of changing jobs. I suppose this will sound more whiney than witty. We are too exhausted to be witty. There are too many things to write about to fit in this one blog this one night that we are too tired to write. I suppose we shall have to give a better update in the near future. We just wanted to let you all know that we are still alive and we are still writing this blog and the tornado has finally gone. Perhaps now, in the aftermath, we will be able to post more regularly. Lord knows we will have plenty to write about.

BTW, in case you do not already know, our daughter's name is Sylvia Dawn Berry and she is the sweetest, most beautiful, well-behaved, good-smelling baby you ever met. Except when she poops. When she poops she is none of these things, but we love her just the same.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Due to Grammie's illness which kept her in the hospital last weekend, we did not make it to the zoo, nor will we be going this weekend since Ward has drill. Since we didn't get great photos of our kids pointing fingers at apes and elephants, we will dig up some other pictures from our collection to post here. Hopefully, we will get to go to the zoo soon. We want to see finger pointing and animal noises! And we know you do too.

House: 138 Cotillion Crescent will not come quietly, no. We are going to have to try a new tactic to acquire this home. It is stealthy and agile, dodging our attempts, and it is oh so very sly. A good bum-rushing may do the trick. We will try that next. As for now, our closing has been postponed and the bottom line is that we really do not know for how long. We will know more next week. Perhaps if we employed a certain and very special set of skills learnt by way of hunting Snipe, we might (yes, we spelled "learnt" that way on purpose) be successful in capturing the elusive home we pursue. Keep your toes crossed.

Pregnancy: Is going well. Sward suffers the occasional mood-swing, but that is normal. Right? Our daughter kicks Sarah. Sarah kicks Ward. Ward kicks privates. No, not those privates. We are referring to the privates he works with, privates in the Army, and he doesn't actually "kick" them but sort of whines to them and everyone else who sort of listens while they do something else and pay him no attention, which also is normal. Right? We are still debating names. May is a good name. She will be May Berry and we will name our next son Andy.

This is Sward signing off. See you next week.

Update

Let us first begin with an administrative note right here now upfront while we are thinking about it and before it either slips out of our minds or rather before and most likely you have diverted your attention elsewhere that is much more interesting and filled with funness. Also therefore as such; if you read our blogs please post comments so we know you were here. Also also therefore, if you include your email address in your first comment we will add you to our distribution list and send you an email notification whenever we post new blogs, pictures, or videos. Do not fear, worry, or be horrified in any way however, for we will not flood your in-box with notifications as these notifications are sent manually by the “The Berry Patch” staff (either Ward or Sarah) and will be emailed no more than once a week and on special/certain occasions for which you would be happy to receive such notification anyway.

Okay, moving right along to Updates:

1. House – 138 Cotillion Crescent, Summerville, SC 29483 hopefully will be our new address in approximately 12 days exactly (that’s May 17th). Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise. Stay tuned here for further developments on said property. You can see pictures of the house at: http://www.thecassinagroup.com/ListingPhotos.aspx?listingid=5540352

2. ZOO – The Berry Patch is planning a trip to Riverbank’s Zoo on Saturday of this week. We will be posting a blog about our zoo trip soon after which should have many pictures and possibly some video of the twins pointing at animals and making animal noises. (P.S. Did you know that bunnies make a noise? Next time you see Wyatt and Ethan ask them what a bunny says.)

Love you all. Check back with us soon. (and leave comments!)

-Sward